May 25, 2004
Nod, if you are with me
When it comes to gas prices, we are all one big family. We love talking about it, and - better yet - we all agree. In times like these, such consensus is a precious commodity. Especially in this town. And I like to spread the love whenever I can. Complaining about the gas prices, I found, is like a Royal Flush in the poker game of small talk. And as a European, I have yet to master the art of the latter. While people will dodge a conversation about the elections or the war, a healthy “Boy, what about them gas prices”, will get everybody going. Even more, you will enjoy an enourmous amount of admiration for your outstanding political insight. You’ll be the center of attention. People will carry you on their hands. I highly recommend it.
The other day I was a guest speaker in my favourite hair salon. Michael was just about to trim my sideburns when I opened with an elegant “Man, driving past the gas station billboard sure makes me weep.” All heads turned. I look around my listeners. “Don’t you think?” The heads nod. I’m getting warmed up.
“Tell me about it”, says Vivian who is getting a perm. “This is getting ridiculous.” We stare into the void and nod in agreement. “What about them Arabs?”, I ask. “They need to get us more oil.” My geopolitical brilliance is greeted by a mumble of approval. I feel like Plato in a streetside speech. “Or the strategic oil reserve”, I add. “Why not turn some of that into gasoline? I sure could use some of it!”. We all sigh in collective bitterness. I own the room.
“What about hybrid cars?”, Michael asks. He’s done with my sideburns and has proceeded to the back of my head. “What about them, Sissy?” I ask. Mr. Tree-Hugger here is trying to play politics, eh? “I’m not driving those”, says Jerry who is getting his gray covered up. “No thanks, me neither”, agrees Norma from the products corner. Oh, the energy. We are all one family. I’m proud.
After leaving the shop, I head for the Metro to get back to town. You see, I am not a big car person. Heck, I don’t even own one. But I love small talk.
Posted by Chefredaktion at May 25, 2004 9:42 AM